Winter Terrorland

I apologize for not posting an update yesterday, but many factors combined to form a blizzard in my day. Winter finally showed his face, after nature teased us Calgarians with record-breaking warm temperatures. Last week the sun shined, birds chirped, and one could stroll outside with a light jacket, and ponder life and writing. After the weekend, the temperatures dropped from +1 to -40 with windchill. Even having lived in Calgary my entire life, and even knowing Calgary’s weather is bi-polar, such a drastic dip in temperature is shocking. It’s like jumping into a cool pool on a hot summer day and feeling my testicles shrivel. Sorry for the crude humor, but it’s true.

I’ll explain what cold is in Calgary for those who won’t have the unfortunate chance of experiencing it. It is so cold outside that I choke on the air, and it burns to breath. It is so cold outside that skin freezes as quick as three minutes. It is so cold outside cars won’t start. It is so cold outside windows everywhere are frosted. It is colder outside then my deep freezer in the kitchen. It is so cold that ice forms on the bottom of my shoes, and I constantly slip on the bus and sidewalks. It is so cold the sky looks like its from a Stephen King horror movie.

This week I have been sluggish. At school I take naps in the cafeteria, library, hallways and classes. People give me strange looks — I think I snore. The cold snap is taking a toll on me. I’m not the only one who is experiencing this, because many people are whining about how tired they are. I blame it on the black ice.

Work didn’t grant me an opportunity to write on my phone, because I was wearing gloves most of the day. To stay warm I did jumping jacks and ran on the spot like a fool, but it was necessary for survival. I work in a grocery store that refuses to turn on the heat. Worse, many areas of the store have cold air blowing down due to shitty ventilation. The store wasn’t designed for harsh prairie winters.

My home wasn’t any warmer, which is sad, because a home is supposed to be warm (isn’t it?). There’s a hole in the siding of the house, and the landlord hasn’t come to fix it, even though the issue was brought to his attention back in October. Since I live in the basement, I can feel the cold against my back as its sucked in. By the end of last night I could see my breath. Damn it, it’s a winter apocalypse.

The good news is this weekend the temperature is supposed to flip again to +5 for a high. It will be shorts, sandals and t-shirt weather, and I’ll take advantage.

Hopefully I have given an understanding to people who live in warm climates. Don’t take your lovely weather for granted. You could be living in Calgary.